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I guess I have something kinda big to announce. I decided to make a clear distinction between my current online persona, and more traditional topics.

Allow me to explain my reasoning first. After managing this account for over seven years, I can see pretty clearly what most of my watchers „expect” from me.

I don’t want to make it sound like I am ungrateful for the support I am getting, because I love you guys, and I love what I am doing here. However, whenever I was posting something unrelated to ponies, or furries or fandom artwork in general, I could feel the response was kinda… underwhelming? I get it, not everyone is interested in seeing yet another photo study or plein air painting. So why keep it here? The majority of you folks want to see me draw more boobs, and I love drawing boobs. But I also love drawing other things sometimes. And if I kept jumping between these furry and non-furry topics as FoxInShadow, there always would be a huge part of unhappy followers.

Which is why I feel that by separating the topics I am contributing to, as a result you will be getting more of what you like about my art. FoxInShadow will remain my primary account, the one focused on ponies, furries, anthro and adult artwork, all fandom artwork and such. So not much will change.

My new accounts however, will be the ones free from porn, furries and ponies. If there will be any nudity there, it won’t be sexual in nature. I will be posting there all my studies, plein air paintings, more realistic artwork and maybe even some 3D sculpting I just started getting into. There will be scifi and fantasy there, but if there will be any fandom or fanart artwork getting posted, it will be much more „serious” or "matured" than my usual smut stuff.

I need this clean slate in order to free myself from the burden of expectations. Please be open-minded about this because I was thinking about this for a very long time, and I feel that this is for the best. Don’t worry guys, I am not going to disappear and the pony/furry train won't be stopping, but I do want to expand in new directions in my spare time. Those of you who are interested in seeing these new directions, feel free to follow me there, but don’t feel obliged to. FoxInShadow will remain as active as ever :)


:iconraphshea::iconraphshea::iconraphshea: 

my new secondary DeviantArt



ArtStation



Behance



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Instagram



Twitter



Facebook



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Perhaps I am making a wrong decision here, but we shall see how everything goes ^^;

Some examples of content you can expect from me there: 
 
Forest Spirit by RaphShea Digital Plein Air 1 by RaphShea
Famine by RaphShea dwarf head WIP by RaphShea 
Oh boy... there we go, my contest has ended and it's time to wrap things up now. 

Now before I get into detailed summary I wanted to thank you ALL for participating, the biggest reward for me is that I have such an involved community and you're ALL wonderful and creative bunch.
Even if you haven't won, I want you to know that the most important thing in artistic development is that you tried and that alone deserves an applause, because being an artist is all about facing the obstacles, which is how you build experience. All entries were wonderful and they felt really involved in the topic, thanks again y'all :clap:

In fact the hardest part about this contest was picking the winners, which is reflected in the fact that I decided to reward nine additional runners-up (which wasn't planned for this contest), because it was that hard to settle on just three winners with so many entries (which you can all look up in my fave folder: foxinshadow.deviantart.com/fav…)

I have provided some reasoning for each of my picks, because I feel like it is much needed to explain to you why exactly I feel like the winners are much justified in my opion. While I understand why the "Skill" category was the one with the most entries provided, I want you to remember that I had to keep in mind what I asked for in the very contest rules. Remember I am rewarding here not only the sole skill, but also the ability of an author to provide some backstory to the characters and originality of their vision, since I was also asking you to play around with the underlying concepts and breathe in some creativity of your own. I couldn't downplay the creative element; if I was judging the entries based on sole skill only, the results could've been a little different. 

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Winner  The winner in the skill-based category is :icononeofyouare:

For the absolutely wonderful rendition of Vienna, which is on point not only from an anatomical point of view. OneOfYouAre has used Vienna's own tail as the sole source of light in the scene and that drags the eyes of the viewer in all the right places and makes the character pop out much more. I highly recommend checking out the rest of their gallery, it's full of beautifully shaded artwork.

Vienna by OneOfYouAre


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Winner  Winner in the originality-based category is :iconikarooz:

Cowfy-Gwinty by Ikarooz Cowfy-Gwinty

For the very cute and funny piece of crossover animation involving both my OCs and Twilight Sparkle: webmshare.com/JenjL

I recommend you check the description on dA before watching, because the author had explained their inspiration in detail already. What I wanted to talk about here is that I highly appreciate the amount of work that must've went into this, because any animation requires tons of work, even if it is a "parody" which uses preexisting source material. Now before you call this "unfinished" or "rough" due to time restraints, I must argue that this is already very fulfilling as it is. The characters feel incredibly lively and the usage of original clip to fit my own OCs is an incredibly clever idea, which is why I am giving this a reward for originality. Once again I must repeat that any animation is incredibly time-consuming, which shows in the quality of this short scene.

And the cuteness, don't forget the cuteness

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Winner  Winner in the innovation-based category is :icongrandmoffpony:

For their adult oneshot story involving Coffee Bean and Vinyl Scratch: www.fimfiction.net/story/21995…

More than for the... "plot" itself (which alone is a very nicely paced and rewarding piece of smut), I am also rewarding them for setting the mood perfectly and describing in great detail the Manehattan scenery which paints an appropriate mental image. For a story with under 2000 words the author managed to introduce plenty of their own additions to my character which is exactly what I was looking for. Without giving away too much, I recommend you check that out on your own if you're curious what's their interpretation of Coffee Bean and her work.


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:bulletred::iconcbfontrplz::iconcbfontuplz::iconcbfontnplz::iconcbfontnplz::iconcbfonteplz::iconcbfontrplz::iconcbfontsplz::iconcbfontuplz::iconcbfontpplz::bulletred:

[?]  Each runner-up will be receiving surprise sketch of single character of their choice plus a symbolic point bonus :points:

Coffee (Competition Entry) by Vulpessentia Probably my fave piece in Vulp's gallery so far, you've honestly outdone yourself with this one! :heart:

Mature Content

Dirty Mind by NovaBytes
 For adding a whole different perspective to the main piece by adding this short snippet of a story, I really like the chemistry here

Smoke Break [Contest] by the7PuNiSHeR For perfectly catching the moody moment of a smoke break ;) It's a really well made piece of pixel animation, I love Coffee's anatomy in this one

Bedtime fun by Gromf007 Another very interesting piece, with a very... creative angle to it ;) I love the perspective used here and the overall composition, the poses picked by author definitely aren't the easiest to pull off, especially whatever is happening to Blazing :D

Fallen Angel by SoulAddicted For choosing to draw Vienna in her... natural habitat ;)

stuff by ShareMyShipment And here on the contrary, for adding the sense of urgency to the piece while using only the minimal amount of elements required. This is also the only vector art submission in the contest. I really like the idea of Vienna sort of escaping from hell.

Lazy morning by Herbasia For drawing this really sweet morning scene

Fox Crew by ApogeeSeeker For drawing coherent alternative outfits for the characters and the overall composition


Mature Content

Vienna, what by DuskBrony
 For some original chemistry between the characters and backstory which adds to the scene


***********************************


Well, I guess that's it. That was very interesting, to finally run a proper contest, and once again I wanted to thank you all for participating. I couldn't have asked for a better community, so I believe I should repeat this sometime in the future ;) I hope you all had fun preparing your entries 5 seconds hug 
Contest Reminder by FoxInShadow



Hey everyone, here's the last reminder for anyone planning to participate, and also for my new watchers. In case you did not know, I am currently running an art contest and there is only one week left for you to prepare and submit your entries, please read up on the exact details below:


Hey everyone, just a kind reminder for anyone planning to participate, and also for my new watchers. In case you did not know, I am currently running an art contest and there are two weeks left for you to prepare and submit your entries, please read up on the exact details below: 

Hello there everyone. I guess I have something special to announce.

Since holiday season is approaching rapidly and I’ve recently achieved 20 000 watchers here on deviantart, I thought I could celebrate by running my very first drawing contest. I’ve run a kiriban recently but this time I want you to get creatively involved ;)

Now before I get into details, I wanted to make it clear that anyone is welcome and free to participate, no matter your skill level. This will be explained further in the contest categories. I guess the only prerequisite is having a dA account which you will need to submit your artwork.

So it goes without saying, that all categories and mediums of art which are allowed on deviantart are welcome. Porn... is also more than allowed, so I elaborated on dA's issues with explicit content in the "how to submit" part.

:bulletred::iconcbfonttplz::iconcbfontoplz::iconcbfontpplz::iconcbfontiplz::iconcbfontcplz::bulletred:

Now you have to understand that the topic of the contest is very... loose. And for a reason. You see, recently I haven't had much time to develop my own characters and I feel like they've been put on the back burner for way too long. I've grown attached to them, yet they feel underdeveloped and plenty of ideas were scratched due to the lack of time.

Which is why the name of the contest is "What the fuck even are your characters, Fox?"

I will be letting you to have as much creative fun with them as you please. I want you to surprise me with your interpretation of what they represent, basically go wild. Maybe you're going to depict how you imagine their lives or how they go about their day, or who do you think they are *ekhem*screwing with in their pastime :P Who the hell knows. No brakes on this train.

As I said, the tricky part is that there is... very little known about my OCs, but I think this leaves plenty of room for exploration. Who knows, maybe I am going to incorporate your ideas in some way in the future ;P

You are allowed either to depict both of my OCs or only one of them, because THERE IS A LIMIT OF ONLY ONE ENTRY PER CONTESTANT. Don't feel pushed to draw both if that ruins your vision, depicting only one of them does not decrease your chances.

(And yes, they can be depicted with other characters)

:bulletred: Here are the references and all the useful source material:

-a folder of my drawings of them: foxinshadow.deviantart.com/gal…
-gift art I received: foxinshadow.deviantart.com/fav…

The only official bit of info on Coffee Bean is in the description of the reference sheet :below: (click on the image), she had an ask blog but it's no longer relevant

(For the sake of contest I am okay with shipping outside of "canon", so Coffee is not limited only to Blazing Gear in terms of relationships. But in case you wanna include Blazing, here is her ref fav.me/d782bme)

Coffee Bean updated reference sheet by FoxInShadow
Vienna Reference Sheet (18/366) by FoxInShadow

:bulletred::iconcbfontpplz::iconcbfontrplz::iconcbfontiplz::iconcbfontzplz::iconcbfonteplz::iconcbfontsplz:

There will be three winners with the equal prizes, so there are no places like first, second and third, but instead there are going to be THREE CATEGORIES in which I will be judging the entries, and categories are as follows:

:bulletblue: Skill and technique, simply for the best artwork on a technical level

:bulletblue: Originality, for the most mind-boggling approach to the characters or to the art medium. All kinds of experimental art forms go into this category.

:bulletblue: Innovation, for the most creative additions to the characters, the storytelling and vision. Parody and humor also go into this category.

So there are going to be  three winners in total, one per each category. If I receive an overwhelmingly large amount of interesting entries and I will have a hard time picking the winners, I might be considering some runner-ups with consolation prizes, but that is not guaranteed.

So for now, the MAIN PRIZES FOR EACH OF THE THREE WINNERS ARE:

:star: 1200 dA points :points:

:star: A colored drawing of a single character of your choice, be it your own OC or not. The catch is that I can do with your character whatever I wish. Along with the character reference you can send me a short message describing what your character is like, but ultimately I will decide what to do with all this info to surprise you. It can be a fighting scene, it can be porn, it can be a scenery piece or whatever I find fitting. So by participating you agree to grant me this artistic freedom.

:bulletred::iconcbfonthplz::iconcbfontoplz::iconcbfontwplz::icontransparentplz::iconcbfonttplz::iconcbfontoplz:
:iconcbfontsplz::iconcbfontuplz::iconcbfontbplz::iconcbfontmplz::iconcbfontiplz::iconcbfonttplz::bulletred:

I have created a folder in my favorites for this contest: foxinshadow.deviantart.com/fav…

I will be giving a fave :+fav: to every entry I receive, in order to collect all the submissions and confirm that your work entered the contest.



Please do not send me messages with links to your entries, instead please mention me in the description of your work by adding my icon :iconfoxinshadow: 

this alone ensures that I get your picture in my inbox: Zrzut ekranu 2016-11-10 o 20.42.49 by FoxInShadow



Please notify me only if you did not find your work in my contest folder.

Also, I understand that there are some topics that are not welcome on dA. I allow for porn entries in this contest, but deviantart does not =P
If your entry is not allowed to be posted on dA, then please send me a note with a direct link to your work posted elsewhere (tumblr, FA etc.), I will reply and confirm that your work has been added to the contest


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Contest ends on 10th of December, so you have a whole month to think about your entries and complete them

(due to time zone differences it is highly advised to submit your entries by the 9th of December if you're unsure if I receive them on time. I will be staying up late on the last day to ensure that I don't miss anyone, but please don't take the risk if you can)

*********************************************

So I guess that this is all! If you're unsure about something or simply have any additional questions, feel free to ask in the comments! And first of all, remember to have fun!
oh man......... 1476077209167 by FoxInShadow

Today we are going to time travel.

Back when I first discovered deviantArt over seven years ago, I was hit in a face with a sudden outburst of creativity, a whole new world of art I knew nothing about. There were dozens if not hundreds of creators I was looking up every day, because quite honestly I was envious of their talents.

But instead of being a passive bystander, I wanted to be an active part of that. And I decided that I wanted to learn.

Perhaps today is the right time to show you all my very first deviantart account: :iconredfox23:

Now you have to understand, that back when I first began drawing I knew literally nothing about it, and I wanted really really hard to know everything about it, instantly.

And for me back then, the Daily Deviation was this unattainable crowning achievement. Magnum Opus of any creator. 
And you have no idea how much I used to want one. I was making a really huge deal out of it. Back when I had very little skill, this sort of reward seemed to me like an instant fix for any kind of flaw in my work. It would be gone, and I would be the king of the world. This fueled me with a kind of... wrong inspiration, because I was more driven by self-hatred rather than anything else.

But as I progressed, I learned my lesson. I kinda forgot about DDs because instead of thinking about rewards, I began to focus on everyday improvements, the simple joy of drawing for the sake of drawing and sharing it with my followers. I learned that my progress comes within myself and I stopped trying to appease to some fixed idea.

When you start your own adventure with art, please don't make the same mistakes that I did. First and foremost don't hate yourself for your own shortcomings, but instead look forward to overcoming them. Because slowly but surely, you will.


Now I hope I didn't make it sound like I am an ungrateful shithead. You have no idea how happy I am, I can't get rid of my idiotic smile right now Woohooooo! . I've been going through some tough shit recently and this community feature is the first good thing that happened to me in the last few months.

The point I was trying to make is that... rewards are not, and shouldn't be the sole end goal, especially in the creative field. Sometimes rewards can even strangle us: www.galactic-cafe.com/2014/02/…

So I am definitely not going to sit on my laurels now. I am absolutely not done learning about art, and I am soooo looking forward to the next seven years of drawing.

....and maybe snatching a few more Daily Deviations in the process Devilish 




Last but not least; every time that something like this happens, I must thank each and every single one of you, the community. I am standing on your shoulders and without your support I would be nowhere. Thank you a million times I love deviantART! 


Night Huntress by FoxInShadow
Hello everyone, if you've been following my journals you probably know already that I am getting back on track with everything and I am ready to accept some new orders.

Price list hasn't been drastically changed and I've also introduced a separate tier for the dakimakuras. I will be also updating the sketch commissions fairly soon because I've been thinking about switching over to rougher sketches which should be more enjoyable to work on.

As for now, this is the updated price list for the colored commissions: Price list by FoxInShadow

I am not limiting these orders to any number of slots, but I will be spreading your requests evenly over time, so that you're not waiting for too long after paying me. So "first come, first served".

Please get acquainted with additional details before sending me a request, as well as the FAQ which probably answered most of the questions you might have

Important changes in commission policy PLEASE READ
This annoys me as much as you, but this is forced on me rather than chosen, so let's overcome these obstacles together, shall we?
The changes are as follows:
:bulletred:The prices are going to be increased slightly in order to fit better to my local tax law. I really don't want to get you into details of that. Check out the current price list: 
:bulletred:First time you place an order you will have to sign "Contract to perform a specific work" with me. This includes sharing personal data with me, shipping information to be exact (but you'll get mine in exchange) and also you'll have to send me a scan of a signed page. Photo will do as well.
This is completely normal among freelancers, imagine you are treated like a company ordering art assets from me. I need a paper for that.
All the personal data is completely safe with me, as I don't have any interest in sharing it. Still, it's required.
I
  Detailed commission FAQ, dos and don'ts and rulesTaking into account a few years of my experience, some recent events, few endlessly returning questions and tiresome explaining, I felt that this FAQ is much needed.
I sure as hell hope that this doesn't sound rude or anything, please remember I'm not trying to scare you away, I'm trying to fix both the issues that some of you had with me, and the issues I had with some of you. I'm taking most of the blame here, because even if only 1% of you isn't satisfied with my services, that's still too many unhappy customers. Sometimes I wasn't acting professional and I am not afraid to admit that, sometimes I was too overwhelmed to handle everything so this gotta change. Fair and square.*
*needless to say, by reading this journal you agree to the terms and conditions yadda yadda blah blah blah let's not be dicks to each other, I respect your rights you respect mine.
And keep in mind that I am aiming at making the process more enjoyable for you and me, and what sounds like a s
Hello everyone, I have another update for you

Although my recovery back to full health is going to take me a while, I gotta be honest with you: I simply have to get back to working on commissions, because my unplanned break and all the medication expenses forced me to spend a good portion of my savings. And I have bills to pay, such is life.

I've also been told that I actually should get back to work for health reasons because I should fight the long-term side effects such as the chronic fatigue syndrome, so I have to force myself to be active a little bit more. I really don't want to be stuck in a creative limbo for too long, even more so in a limbo induced by a frickin' virus. So yeah, I guess I should stop bitching and get to drawing. For the better.

So if everything goes well, I should start accepting new orders in a few days. There is going to be a new price list, maybe some new pricing options, maybe some new tiers for simple sketches and such. I am still working on everything and balancing it out.

In the meantime, if you're new to this, please get acquainted with some of my rules and additional details of the commission process, I actually answered most of the questions you might have so this should save both of us plenty of time later on: 

Important changes in commission policy PLEASE READ
This annoys me as much as you, but this is forced on me rather than chosen, so let's overcome these obstacles together, shall we?
The changes are as follows:
:bulletred:The prices are going to be increased slightly in order to fit better to my local tax law. I really don't want to get you into details of that. Check out the current price list: 
:bulletred:First time you place an order you will have to sign "Contract to perform a specific work" with me. This includes sharing personal data with me, shipping information to be exact (but you'll get mine in exchange) and also you'll have to send me a scan of a signed page. Photo will do as well.
This is completely normal among freelancers, imagine you are treated like a company ordering art assets from me. I need a paper for that.
All the personal data is completely safe with me, as I don't have any interest in sharing it. Still, it's required.
I
  Detailed commission FAQ, dos and don'ts and rulesTaking into account a few years of my experience, some recent events, few endlessly returning questions and tiresome explaining, I felt that this FAQ is much needed.
I sure as hell hope that this doesn't sound rude or anything, please remember I'm not trying to scare you away, I'm trying to fix both the issues that some of you had with me, and the issues I had with some of you. I'm taking most of the blame here, because even if only 1% of you isn't satisfied with my services, that's still too many unhappy customers. Sometimes I wasn't acting professional and I am not afraid to admit that, sometimes I was too overwhelmed to handle everything so this gotta change. Fair and square.*
*needless to say, by reading this journal you agree to the terms and conditions yadda yadda blah blah blah let's not be dicks to each other, I respect your rights you respect mine.
And keep in mind that I am aiming at making the process more enjoyable for you and me, and what sounds like a s
People have been asking, so I guess I owe you another update

For the last few days I've been feeling better and even started drawing again, I was even planning to open new commissions very soon. But today I woke up with a rash over my entire body and I had to be taken to hospital for diagnosis.

Most likely I have been suffering from mononucleosis. There is no cure for this virus because it's actually widely present in the population and only sometimes this one-time sickness causes symptoms like mine. It simply has to go away on its own, and I have to gain natural immunity against it. So I simply have to rest.

What's worse than the virus though, is the fact that I have been absolutely fucked over by the antibiotics. I am glad that the stomach pains are over, because last few days have been a living hell where I couldn't eat, sleep or move. The rash that appeared today has been most likely caused by the antibiotics too, and I had to stop taking them of course. So I am screwed over both by medication and the virus.

This marks the beginning of a third week of this wild ride, I am absolutely wrecked both physically and mentally. Once I get back on my feet, I am going to need some more time to rebuild my damaged immunity, because it has been severely weakened.
The stress from work and lack of exercise played a major role in that too, so I simply have to take care of myself for a while. You have to excuse me, but my return to full efficiency is going to take some time. New artwork is going to appear much slower than usual, because I am performing at the 10% of my full potential. 

And I am absolutely infuriated by all of this.

I wanted to thank you all for your patience and the kind words and wishes. Believe me, I want to stop spewing bullshit about this bullshit sickness and just get back to sharing art with you. But my stupidity has taken the best of me, I have overworked myself and didn't take proper care of myself, and now I am seeing the effects of this. Slowly but surely this will all blow over. Thanks again, I am not willing to give up easily :)

Also, I wanted to... remind you that :iconkairaanix: is taking commissions while I am busy with rolling on the bed for the whole day. Please pop over to her deviantart for details if you want to help us both, because as you can see my drawing powers have been limited for some time.

Another shameful display of e-begging *cough cough* is the fact that I am accepting donations! I wish the donations would go towards some admirable goal like art equipment <s>cheap booze and Steam games</s>, but I assure you that they're going to be spent on herbal tea and cough syrup, sadly: 

www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?…;

Appreciate y'all.

Really.

tumblr oee8wv0dPe1reebz9o1 500 by FoxInShadow
Please click the image for details, do not place your bids in this journal

I hate how recently I've been only giving you my bitching and moaning and complaining. But you deserve to know because I went pretty silent again.

So on top of everything that's been going on recently, I've been also having a constant fever and the worst headache of my life for the past week.

Today I went to the doctor to get it checked because the symptoms were pretty unusual for an autumn cold or flu. I had to have a blood test and because this is Friday, I have to wait for the results until Monday. Right now I am on antibiotics but I still don't know what exactly is wrong with me.

I am so weak and out of ideas due to this sickness, that I can't even get up to my Wacom and draw something decent. So getting back on my feet is going to take me... couple of more days at best. I'm trying to sketch some stuff in the meantime, but my productivity simply went down the drain, and you have no idea how fucking infuriated by this I am. But I know that I gotta rest if I want to return to full health.

Of course, this also means a delay in opening new commissions. I'm sorry, but even though this is directly damaging me the most, I gotta set my priorities straight. Health first.

Expect another update on Monday. I fucking hope it's not a chronic condition or anything like that.

Again, sorry for slowing down recently. I felt like an explanation is much needed, the last few weeks... weren't the best for me.

Fox back to bed :U
Thanks for the constructive critique too, both public and private. Much appreciated.

Now, I don't think there is much left to be said at that point. I know what I have to do; I have to take it easy and slowly recover to full health. I'll shut up about it now, and just take all steps necessary.

And that involves temporarily closing my commissions: for a week or two I won't be accepting new orders because I have to redo my price list a little bit, also in the meantime I will be slowly working through the commissions that have been already prepaid or booked.

If you've already been added to my waiting list then you still will be getting your commission done using the old pricing, even if you haven't paid me yet. I'll get back to everyone sooner or later and nobody has been forgotten, so don't worry.

Also, to everyone who's been asking me about Patreon, I said this already and I'll have to say it again: I do not like the patron model that everyone has been using recently. And do you really think that in my current state it would be a good idea to impose on me another set of weekly or monthly deadlines and quotas that I will fail to fulfill? The sheer pressure to keep up with yet another thing would eat me up. Patreon does not click with me because it would force me to do exactly the same thing that was harming me recently; perhaps all that I'm trying to say is that I am not ready to run a honest, fulfilling Patreon just now.

And yes, I know that technically I don't even have to provide anything in return to my patrons and people could basically... pay me for existing, but hey, I already have had a donate page linked on my tumblr for years if you've been dying to give me some free dolla: 

www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?…;

Maybe I'll consider a proper Patreon model suited to my workflow sometime in the future, but definitely not now.

Thanks for listening everyone.
In a way, I am sorry for bringing this whole thing up. If you've been following me for a while, you know that what I hate the most is bringing up personal matters into my online art life. But nobody is perfect, and trying to separate my personal life from my art life will always fail in the long run. And things got too far this time around.

This is going to be a long one too, for which I am also sorry, but this has been long time coming.

I don't really know how to properly put this into words, but I'll try anyway. For the past few months my art job has been taking bigger and bigger toll on me, my health and well-being, and it's been also reflecting in the quality of my art itself.

I stopped progressing and experimenting, I got absolutely repetitive and bored with art, but on the other hand I've also set the standards for myself way too high. And don't even get me started on my terrible workflow, which has been a complete mess for the past few years; artwork taking way too long to be completed, lack of proper linearting and speedpainting techniques and my unhealthy obsession with perfectionism, which has been causing me to be overly critical about the aspects of my work which I shouldn't be critical about.

Now before you start thinking that it's some art block or creativity burnout or something like this; that is not entirely the case here. I am flourishing with ideas that I never act out.

I am so busy with the... the work aspect of my art, that I don't even have enough time for the creative aspect of my art.

I've been stuck in this toxic circle of workaholism for the past few years.

Yes, I've said it, I am most likely a workaholic. This does not make me a wonderful, efficient and successful art enterpreneur. That only means that I take too much work on my shoulders and then I struggle to keep up.

Saying all of this is not going to give me any good publicity, in fact it's a terrible move to publicly admit ones own shortcomings. But I am done being dishonest with myself. I tried to fix all of this. I tried to hide this. I tried to deny it and work the everyday work to better myself through steady progress.

But each time I am falling back into the abyss, this fucking state of fake and lazy self-acceptance, the "I am going to play The Pretend Game for a few more months and then surely everything will get back to normal" kind of self-acceptance.

One "symptom" of this was my 366 Days of Art personal challenge, yet another thing that I am failing terribly at as I type this. Today is the 234th day of the year, and so far I have only completed 100 or so daily artwork pieces. Because I thought that forcing myself even harder is going to fix me.

Same for my ask blogs, which were all abandoned sooner or later. I have a big problem with completing the things that I start.

Then, while I was thinking that it's just a temporary art block, the health problems started.

I have a tendency to belittle or ignore my own problems because I think that if I push harder and harder, they are going to magically
disappear at some point.

Which caused me to fuck up my right wrist, my drawing hand. Now I am taking all means necessary to un-fuck my wrist back to normal, but it's been really bad for the past few weeks, to the point where it's been getting swollen and causing me some serious pain.

And it wasn't caused by some random injury, no. I managed to do this to myself only by staying in front of my computer all day every day, and never taking necessary breaks from work.

Image by FoxInShadow

:icontransparentplz:

That was the point at which I realized that this was a bigger issue than just a creativity struggle, and that brings me to typing out this journal. I believe you have a right to know about this.

Art is literally my life. I can not simply take a year-long health break and fly to the Bahamas to sip cold drinks and recover my art hand. But this was indeed a wake-up call that made me realize that I should slow down to think about myself.

So it's not that simple. I can't and I won't disappear because I can't afford it, and even if I could I would not want to. But things will have to change.

I am not entirely sure what exactly I can do, because on top of all that I already said, I am also struggling with multitude of personal issues that I would rather not bring up here. All you have to know is that I've made a lot of sacrifices recently, and yet I still haven't managed to escape my workaholism. So this might be a mindset issue.

Perhaps this is the point at which I should rethink my business strategies, because talking about personal health would be much easier if not for the ever-looming threat of financial instability.

And before you tell me to simply "spend less, lmao"; well the food and rent bills easily take up about 80% of my income, and I have some other unplanned bills to pay too. And I'd hate to have to pay for a hand treatment on top of my already existing expenses, but if the worse comes to worst, then this might also happen.

Public health care system in Poland is a steamy pile of horse shit. You might wait years to see a medical specialist "for free". But you can also pay the same specialist to see them in a private clinic literally next week. But all of this is so mind-bogglingly expensive that I don't even want to think about this for now.

:icontransparentplz:

So I am not exactly looking for a financial advice or anything like that, nor am I asking for any extra support (yet). I've only wanted to let you know why I've recently slowed down again, and that there are some... inner demons that I have to fight.

But most importantly, I wanted to apologize to those of you who could've been affected by all of this. My health is clearly telling me to slow down, so unfortunately you'll have to wait some more for everything to get finished. Everything will be completed sooner or later. It will.

Please don't think that I am looking for excuses, or for anyone to pat me on the back. I am very critical of myself, and more than anything I am pissed at myself for allowing this to happen for too long now.

I guess that now I will keep on doing what I'm always doing, except this time without wrecking myself both mentally and physically.

If my hand does not heal and instead gets worse again, then you guys will be the first people to know. I do not have to take any extra measures just yet, and I really hope I won't have to.

If you have any suggestions for me or even some words of critique, then feel free to call me out on my bullshit. I am at a loss right now, and some insight from someone else's perspective might help me more than you might think.

Fox out.

13920837 263492380701631 6628676810925553682 N by FoxInShadow
Okay.... hear me out. Deviantart page count system is a bitch. And also a lagging one, if suddenly I get an influx of three fucking thousand pageviews, holy shit.

So I have received three screenshots in almost exactly the same moment, and as a matter of fact it might be possible that all three users could've gotten the same pageview count, due to the sudden lag.
I am not going to delve deeper into this, I am not going to verify whether or not someone cheated, the kiriban is over, the inquiries are closed and I don't accept more screenshots, everyone had their chance and there is at least one fair winner, probably all three of them are fair. Blame deviantart.

So due to this sudden turn of events I am going to draw one conjoined piece for :icondmaxis: :iconepiccupcake777: and :iconderpymuffinz:

Please don't start a flame war about whether or not it was fair, I really honestly believe that nobody was cheating. Thank you ALL so much for participating, and for your endless support :heart:

Off to another million pageviews babyyyyy.

EDIT:

Here is the outcome!

 League of Legends kiriban prize by FoxInShadow
Since a big milestone is getting closer and closer, I thought I would celebrate it with a lil' reward for you.

Simply put, a kiriban! Which I haven't done in quite a while, so this could be fun.

RULES, PLEASE READ:

:bulletred: The screenshot of a 1 000 000'th view on my main page is the sole winner, please submit a high quality screenshot of the whole web page with my main page clearly visible: foxinshadow.deviantart.com/

:bulletred: I will not accept a tiny screenshot of just the view count, because that can be easily photoshopped, or taken from someone elses kiriban

:bulletred: I am not exactly sure how the view counting system on dA works, so I don't even know if that's possible, but there might be two or more people getting the kiriban at the same time? Probably not, but if that's the case, then "first come, first served" rule will be applied.

:bulletred: Please use the dA note system to send me the screenshot. Preferably you should be logged into your dA account while taking the screenshot so that it matches the account you'll be using to sending it, but that's not a requirement. People outside of dA can enter too.

:bulletred: As demonstrated here, despite my hopes that nobody will be cheating, it is possible to manipulate the web page pretty easily to produce a fake view count: i.imgur.com/fkvxuJz.png

Zrzut ekranu 2016-05-31 o 12.15.05 by FoxInShadow


So if I receive ten million screenshots all at once, I will know that something is wrong. Show some dignity and let the fair winner win, because otherwise I will pick the winner AT RANDOM. EVERYBODY LOOSES THEN.

Eventually the kiriban can be cancelled entirely due to suspiciously large number of screenshots I receive. If you're gonna be faking it, not only you will not be receiving the reward, but also you will make the fair winner impossible to pick. I hope you'll be really happy about it.

:bulletred: As a reward, you will be getting a colored drawing of a single character of your choice, be it your own OC or not. The catch is that I can do with your character whatever I wish. Along with the character reference you can send me a short message describing what your character is like, but ultimately I will decide what to do with all this info to surprise you. It can be a fighting scene, it can be porn, it can be a scenery piece or whatever I find fitting. So by participating you agree to grant me this artistic freedom.

:bulletred: Most likely it will be porn :iconlennyfaceplz:

Well, I think that's all. I wanted to thank you all for the continuous support, and I hope you will have fun trying to catch the kiriban. Cheers!

Zrzut ekranu 2016-05-17 o 16.57.55 by FoxInShadow 
Welcome to DeviantART World by MacDoninri on DeviantArt
Just a heads up. I wanted to inform you, since some of you have been asking, why does it seem that I sometimes omit my daily art submissions?

Well, mostly because I decided to not overly spam you with very rough sketches because I'm not always capable of producing complex works daily, but also because some of the daily art is too explicit for deviantart and I know that it would get flagged sooner or later.

Which is why I am tagging my daily works as #366DaysOfFox on tumblr, and you can browse the tag here: www.tumblr.com/tagged/366dayso… (if the link doesn't work for you, it's because deviantart is blocking me again :sarcasm:)

I am also trying to put up my artwork on Instagram and Twitter more frequently these days, so feel free to check them out and follow: 

www.instagram.com/foxintwiligh…
twitter.com/foxinshadow
cafemynoghra.tumblr.com/

Finnegans Wake (61/366) by FoxInShadow
TobyFox posted today an updated policy on fan merchandise, which inspired me to also make a few clarifications.

I am (and will be, probably for a long time to come) mainly a brony artist. But diversifying my topics and expanding my audience is becoming one of my main goals.

However, I respect your opinion on touchy subjects, because when few weeks ago I asked you on tumblr about possibility of making #Undertail art, your reactions were mixed to say the least. Some of you were pretty excited about it, some of you were strongly against it.

Which is why I decided that the only things I am going to post on deviantart and tumblr are going to be teasers, whereas the full uncensored thing will be available only on my FurAffinity, where all the wicked things belong: www.furaffinity.net/user/zero-…

The potential preview might look a lot like this (I just like Undyne, okay?)

Fish Boobs by FoxInShadow

For your information, I don't even know if I am going to draw any Undertail to begin with. But the new Undertale fan merch policy inspired me to mention this subject as well.

If you're interested in ordering any Undertale or Undertail commissions, this policy made it pretty clear that I am allowed to make them. Read up on the full thing: undertale.tumblr.com/post/1397…
My currently existing sideblog has become a weird aggregation of  few kinds of content. I'm mostly using it to reblog fandom artwork, contemporary art, music, pr0n, shitposting and answering TMI.

And this is completely fine. This is what I needed in order to avoid spamming my main tumblr. 

But I also wanted something dedicated to sharing purely "high" culture, classical and conceptual artwork that influences me the most. If you're interested in that kind of content, feel free to follow: foxinartwork.tumblr.com/

What can you expect from me there? I've already posted quite a few examples, but there will be also some photography and contemporary art, as well as references and resources I am using for creating art. 

What can I say, I love sharing my inspirations.

But I also understand that this isn't the kind of content that most of you expect from me, therefore I have multiple blogs ;V

(This is the "main" shitposting sideblog I was talking about. Porn inbound: foxafterhours.tumblr.com/ )